December 2010
14 posts
Jokes for December 21st, 2010.
A new study shows that breast feeding is linked to better grades. Which reminds me I’ve been meaning to tell my girlfriend I’ve decided to go back to school…
A group of Swedish medical students were preparing to perform an autopsy when they realized that the body was their professor’s. The students were obviously very upset, I mean he had promised two of...
Jokes for December 20th, 2010.
A new study shows that kids who play video games for long periods of time are smarter and have better multitasking skills. Yeah that’s great I’m so good at multitasking I can play video games, calculate the tip for the Domino’s guy and not get calls from girls.
The UK government is trying to block internet pornography sites unless users specifically request it from their...
Jokes for December 17th, 2010.
Hackers have made an interactive porn video game on Microsoft’s new XBOX Kinect. To be fair, it’s the closest those geeks are going to get to touching a boob.
Big changes for the TSA. They’re changing the name, losing the S, just going with T and A now.
Facebook was down yesterday for several hours. It was the most activity Myspace has had in months.
President Obama just...
Jokes for December 16th, 2010.
Scarlett Johansson is single again. I would do anything to get her number. Luckily all I had to do was e-mail the guy from Wikileaks.
A Bristish judge has released Wikileaks founder Julian Assange from jail. Jeez, I wonder what he had on that guy.
Because of the extreme summer heat in Qatar, FIFA is considering rescheduling the World Cup to January 2022. Having the World Cup take place in...
Jokes for December 14th, 2010.
The Federal Bureau of Transportation Statistics says that airlines brought in more than $4.3 billion in fees this year. Of course they made most of their money in the last quarter with their happy ending pat downs.
A giant penis crop-circle has been drawn in the front lawn of the Eiffel Tower. Brett Favre texted me a picture of it this morning.
The Facebook movie the Social Network is...
Jokes for December 13th, 2010.
It’s rumored that Obama has finally kicked his smoking habit, though without some hard work he may still be remembered for just blowing smoke.
Billy Ray Cyrus said that when he saw the video of his daughter Miley smoking from a bong he was very upset and he grounded her. In return, Miley took away his allowance.
Thanks to new magnification techniques, historians have discovered tiny...
Jokes for December 10th, 2010.
CNN accidently aired a scene from the movie Dumb and Dumber today. I was laughing my ass off watching these morons and it’s interrupted by Dumb and Dumber.
A two year old girl climbed into a claw machine at a mall in Philadelphia. It took fire fighters over 2 hours to win her.
A video has leaked online of Miley Cyrus smoking the pyschedlic drug salvia out of bong. Ok, that one we...
Jokes for December 9th, 2010.
A city in Florida has started enforcing a $250 fine or 10 hours of community service for people wearing excessively baggy pants. Violators are easy to catch, I mean it’s not like they can run away.
CNBC reports that pot dealers are being forced to lower their prices to compete with the growing number of legal dispensaries. It’s been getting so bad some dealers have had to pick up a...
Jokes for December 8th, 2010.
The U.S. State Department has decided that the theme for next year’s commemoration will be ‘World Press Freedom Day.’ According to Wikileaks.
Wal Mart is going to start selling wine in vending machines. Of course the classier connoisseur will buy their wine at Target.
Sylvester Stalone was inducted into the boxing hall of fame for his role in Rocky. In other news, the golf hall of fame...
Jokes for December 7th, 2010.
The founder of Wikileaks was arrested and put in jail this morning. He’s already tried bribing his guard with top secret information. ”You let me out of here, I’ll tell you what your wife got you for Christmas.”
George Lucas is trying to buy the film rights to deceased actors so he can resurrect them virtually for upcoming movies. Yes, the prequels were so bad he...
Jokes for December 6th, 2010
A pair of Queen Elizabeth II’s underwear is going to auction this week. The crazy part is that it’s a thong.
WikiLeaks has revealed sites critical to US security. Obviously one of them seems to be Wikileaks.
And the founder of Wikileaks has threatened to release secret government files regarding BP if he is arrested or his website is taken down. There’s been no word from BP, though we...
Jokes for December 3rd, 2010.
In Canada, the body of a woman was found in a recycling bin. Fortunately the police already have a suspect and have charged him with murder and for dumping the body in a clearly marked cardboard only bin.
The unemployment rate rose the highest since April today and studies show employers are unwilling to hire because they feel many of the applicants have a ‘desperate vibe’ coming...
Jokes for December 2nd, 2010.
Nigerian authorities are charging former Vice President Dick Cheney over a money scandal involving Halliburton. Apparently he told them they’d won a large sum of money but first they’d need to send him some money to cover the transfer fees.
Today NASA announced they have discovered a new form of life on Earth. The Tea Party’s already had seven rallies making sure it’s...
Jokes for December 1st, 2010.
The US military has unveiled something they’re calling a ‘smart gun,’ which uses advanced safety and targeting features. The military says the gun is idiot proof, it can’t miss, in fact, its already been field tested by Dick Cheney.
Delta Airlines says that more than 100,000 people applied for the 1,000 flight attendant openings. Mostly lonely guys who like the idea...