The U.S. poverty rate has hit an all time record.  Things are so bad my neighbor had to give up cable.  And I had to give up stealing cable.

More than 50 new planets have been discovered, including one that could potentially support life.  I say we take our chances and hold the next GOP debate there.

Studies show that watching Sponge Bob Square Pants can cause short attention spans and learning problems in 4-year-olds.  The good news is that means I can still watch it.

An orangutan named Shirley who lives in a zoo in Malaysia and is addicted to cigarettes given to her by visitors is being forced to quit by zoo officials.  You know it’s very hard to quit smoking.  Only 65% of orangutans ever successfully quit smoking.

Kids 12 and younger will no longer be required to remove their shoes or patted down at airport security checkpoints.  Unfortunately, they will still be allowed on airplanes.