This is exciting, the new iPhone was announced today, lots of new features.  This one can make phone calls.

It also comes with a new app that lets you always know where your friends are called Find My Friends, or as some will be calling it, Stalk My Ex.

NASA is seeking students for astronaut school.  They’ve already received applications from hundreds of eight year olds. 

A US scientist won a Nobel Prize for proving that the universe is expanding very rapidly.  That’s good news because Americans are also expanding very rapidly. 

Sesame Street is going to be introducing a poverty stricken muppet.  It’s part of a big muppet movement called Occupy Sesame Street.

Chris Christie has announced that he will not be running for president.  He realized not only would it add too much stress to himself but to town hall podiums across the country.