Sarah Palin says after much prayer, she has decided not to run for President.  Looks like God answered my prayers.

Scientists have started using the world’s most expensive telescope to take the first pictures of deepest space so we can better understand our universe.  Wow, if it were me I would have just used it to see into a girl’s bedroom window from really far away.

A couple was rescued from shark infested waters after a Florida tourism company left them behind while they were scuba diving.  Luckily they were saved when a ship passed by and threw them Chris Christie.  

A new study by Forbes magazine says that Detroit is the most dangerous city in America.  No kidding, just reading the article I got a paper cut.

Michelle Obama says that the children fight over who gets which Secret Service agent.  She says Sasha is usually the more mature one and just lets Biden have who he wants.