Sony has suspended online video game accounts after another security breach.  Nerds are so fed up they’ve started their own movement called Occupy My Mom’s Basement.  

No credit card data was stolen.  Worse, they reset everyone’s high scores.

Police stormed the home of the man behind the Scarlett Johansson nude photo leak.  He was told to come out with his hands up, so everyone could high five him.

Iran has failed in their plan to launch a monkey into space.  We did that in the 60’s, so we could study the effects of poop being thrown in zero gravity.

Beyonce has revealed plans for a sexy maternity line.  When I think maternity wear I don’t think sexy, I think elastic.  Or waterproof.  

You can tell the pregnancy is really affecting Beyonce.  Her new single is called “Fried Pickle Ice Cream.”

A family in Massachusetts called 911 after getting lost in a corn maze.  That’s scary huh?  Imagine that, trapped with your family.

The most embarrassing thing is it was just a regular cornfield.