President Obama had a physical the other day.  The doctor looked over his chart and said he had some bad news.  Then he read him his poll numbers.

Bank of America will no longer charge customers a monthly $5 fee to use their debit cards.  They will now be charging a monthly $10 “no more $5 fee” fee.

Harold Camping, the man who incorrectly predicted the rapture, has apologized and retired.  This guy is so bad at predictions he thought Kim Kardashian’s marriage was going to last.

A designer has made an $8 million luxury iPad 2 that comes with diamonds and dinosaur bones.  Finally, an iPad for the 1%.

Whoever buys that is going to feel really stupid when the iPad 3 comes out.  That one comes with dinosaur bones.

8 million dollars and I bet whoever buys it still throws it in a Hello Kitty case.

Peanut butter prices are skyrocketing.  Which explains that new commercial I saw, Cash for Peanut Butter Cups.