The new superhero movie Captain America is changing its name in some countries out of fear of anti-Americanism.  In China they’ve changed the name from Captain America to Major Debt.

Today Obama held a town hall style meeting via Twitter.  It just goes to show that Obama is not your typical politician.  For example, he didn’t Tweet a single picture of his junk.

The TSA has said that they will now be searching for implanted bombs.  Now they can play my favorite game, “Pregnant or poorly hidden explosive device?!”

A new study from Stanford University shows that athletes perform better with ten hours of sleep. I never believe studies like this; I sleep 12 hours a day and can barely dribble. 

New York has set up a hogweed hotline.  I think it’s a hotline for people really depressed there’s not going to be anymore Harry Potter movies.