The last Harry Potter comes out on Friday.  I hear it’s so sad you’ll be crying into your cape.

Before Harry Potter, Hogwarts was just something you got from unprotected pig sex.

Just think, when the first Harry Potter came out many fans were just nine or ten years old.  Now, ten years later, they’re still virgins living with their parents. 

Bill Gates says he wants to reinvent the toilet.  The last thing I need is to have my toilet crash right when I’m in the middle of something. 

Obama has set a new record for fundraising.  That’s amazing…that someone can break both fundraising and deficit records.

A lot of people are upset about the Netflix price increases.  In fact, the only one happy about it is Blockbuster.  

Google Plus might be the new Facebook.  Which means Facebook might be the new Myspace.