America can finally relax.  After intense arguing on both sides, it looks like a plan is almost in place to fix one of America’s biggest problems.  The NFL lockout.

Borders is going into liquidation, which is funny because the only time I ever went into a Borders is when I had to liquidate really bad.

Sarah Palin says she can help the mainstream media because she has a degree in journalism.  It’s true, I just read a fascinating interview she did with Paul Revere.  

In Austria, thieves were arrested for stealing 21 tons of mustard and ketchup.  They should have just done what I do and take a dozen packets whenever they go into a McDonalds. 

A vet in Oregon saved a bald eagle’s life with mouth to beak resuscitation.  I’m also doing my part to help the bald eagle.  Tiny wigs.